Finding God in Nothing:

“find God in all things.”

While I find all of the charisms both interesting and beautiful, and the general theology of the Jesuits to be sound, it is this principle of “find God in all things” that I am most attracted to. This principle could easily serve as a five word summary of my own understanding of God and faith. I see God in my family and in my friends. I see God in smiling faces. In crying eyes. I see God in children, and hear him in laughter. I see God at the top of the chairlift at Butternut, or at the end of the jetty at Dune’s Beach. I see God in my students and in my roommates. I see God in strangers.

I can – at least most of the time – see God in all things. There is one place however, where I have trouble seeing God. I am able to see God in something, but I can’t seem to find God in the nothing. Most often I see God in people or in nature, but finding God in the spaces between is my challenge. I can hear Him in the birds chirping, or the children laughing, even the people fighting. I have trouble however, hearing him in the silence. I can see Him in the shiny new snow, or the bright fall leaves, or the faces of my students as they return to their pews after communion. I have trouble however, seeing Him in the stillness, in the emptiness.

My goal now? My goal as we enter a new month, a new season of Lent, a new semester? My goal is to see God in both the something and the nothing, to hear Him in both the noise and the silence. To find Him both somewhere and nowhere.

Prayers Please....

Today we found out that one of the Magis applicants for next year's cohort was killed in the earthquake in Haiti while volunteering at an orphanage. Also, one of my students is beginning chemo this week. While I am keeping their intentions anonymous here on the WWW, I ask you to please keep these young people and their families in your hearts and prayers this week. "To be a Christian without prayer is no more possible than to be alive without breathing." - Martin Luther King Jr.

Refreshment....

Friday was a long day. Half a day at school. 7 hours in the car. 400 miles of driving. And then, finally, the ground grew flatter, the sky grew wider, and we were in Nebraska. Cozad, NE. Camp Comeca. Magis Retreat. Long, exhausting, and ultimately refreshing. As Katie's car crunched across the gravel parking lot, and the lodge came into view, memories of summer retreat came flooding into my mind. My shoes filled with mud and melted snow crossing the lawn, and I remembered a warm summer game of capture the flag.

Entering retreat my emotions were mixed, I was enthused to see people I hadn't seen in months, and to catch up with my C8 comrades after months apart. I was also frustrated, knowing I wasn't at the place, with my teaching or with myself, that I had hoped to be at this point in the year. I was ready to be refreshed, and I found myself gaining more refreshment than I knew I needed. The retreat was an opportunity to just be. To catch up with friends. To be in community. To be in solidarity with other first year teachers. To laugh. To cry. To smile. To reflect. To realize it's okay not to love teaching every single day. To talk. To share. To recieve help. To offer help. To realize that even if three is a small number, my community is larger than just Magis Rapid. This was a weekend to realize, that all of Magis is my community, and that in order to survive I need all of them. My goal is not to survive. My goal is to thrive. To feel alive.

Refreshing. Rejuvenating. And then, at the end of the day, after hours in and out of consciousness along I-80, I came to reality. The Sandhills of Nebraska, weren't the sand dunes they vaguely resembled. Turning on to 90-West, it didn't suddenly become the Pike. Exit 8 was still a 24 hour drive in the other direction. The sky grew darker, Hills gave way to Plains, the names on the signs grew familiar again - Wall, New Underwood, Ellsworth. And there in the distance, were the lights. "We can see it now, we're almost there." "Distances can be deceiving out here," my roommate reminded me. But it didn't matter. The distance in time didn't matter anymore. In my mind, I had looked at those lights, and thought, "there they are, that's our city." In that moment, I realized maybe the lady at Bradley wasn't so far off, when she handed me my baggage claim sticker and said "Have a safe flight home." Rapid will never be my hometown, but, at least for the moment, it's my home.

Around the World in 50 Foods...

A few years ago I decided I wanted to start putting some new foods into my diet, spice things up a bit. No, I didn't want to try mashed turnip or squash for the 50th time (still not a fan of either, though I did discover a liking for summer squash). I was able to find some new foods pretty easily. They weren't necessarily radical foods, just ones I'd never gotten around to trying, or had bad past experiences with. I discovered that I liked chickpeas, hummus, black olives, black beans, guacumole and feta cheese. I tried vegetarianiasm for a grand total of about one month, but along the way discovered eggplant parm and veggie burgers! I came up with some wierdly delicious combinations such as stir fried pineapple and soy sauce, and I tried and disliked things such as sushi, tofu, and salmon. After a while things hit a standstill. Not because I didn't want to try new foods, but because I was running out of foods to try! The Charlie's snack bar only had so many options! Then came a move far away from my "homeland," and all things familiar, cuisine included. This new area has allowed me to try "Regional cuisine," such as fried catfish, okra, buffalo,and pheasant. In recent months I have found myself sampling baba ghanouj, fried pickles, shawarma, tofu that actually tasted good, and many other things. What has been the result? An overwhelming desire to try more new foods! This is where you, my readers and fellow bloggers can help. My goal for 2010 is to try (or re-try) at least two new foods each month. First up - spaghetti squash! What else do you think should make it to my table?